God’s plan is simply amazing. I have learned over the past few days that God is most definitely at work in our lives preparing us for future events that we cannot even fathom. Rob recently wrote about three little girls that mean the world to us: Ainsley, Emma, and Gabby. They are the precious daughters of our close friends Chris and Catherine Foca. We met the Foca’s about five years ago, just after their middle child (Emma) was born. We have had the privilege of watching these sweet girls grow and develop their own unique personalities. It has been a joy to get to know them and their parents well.

Today marks the official moving day for this family. Miles will separate us, and we will not get to see, read to, snuggle with, or tuck these girls in as often as we have. We will miss them more than they can imagine, but we hope to visit as often as we can. I am so incredibly grateful that God crossed our paths all those years ago. Not only did we gain wonderful friends in Chris and Catherine (two to the MOST fantastic parents I know-they are our role models!), but we are better prepared for our own little girl because of all that their daughters have taught us.

If you had asked Rob years ago if he wanted a boy or a girl one day, he would have said a boy. It was nothing against girls, but he wanted to participate in boy scouts with his son, take him fishing, play ball, work on cars together, etc. All of this is completely understandable, especially when you consider that most of the children on his side of the family are boys. I think the idea of having a girl was unsettling to him….what could he do with her? Would he have to have tea parties, play dress up, learn to braid hair?!?!

Emma, a life-loving/independent/full-throttle five-year old, has unknowingly been working on Rob’s heart and perception of little girls since they met. She has been one of Rob’s biggest fans ever since she laid eyes on him. There was a period of time when she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me (was I competition?), but she never faltered in her intense love of him. He LOVED it! He knew that each and every time she saw him, Emma would take off running and jump into his arms for one of the best hugs to be had. Rob looked forward to those moments…and still does. She had a way of breaking down all his misgivings about possibly having a daughter of his own one day…to the point where he was hoping that we would have a little girl at someday.

When we went in for the ultrasound at 16 weeks 4 days, almost immediately we were told the baby is a girl. I wish you could have seen Rob’s face at that moment. His smiling eyes showed how purely happy he was to find out we were having a daughter. Since that moment, he has been wrapped around our baby girl’s finger – and she isn’t even here yet. If you had told me he would feel this way about a girl years ago, I would have laughed. It just wasn’t possible. He would have been happy with either, as long as they were healthy, but I do not think he would have been this JOYOUS to have a daughter. Now, because of sweet Emma, he is embracing fatherhood of a daughter and will be a GREAT daddy!

Thank you Foca family for being a part of our lives and teaching us so much through the years. Chris and Catherine- watching you we have learned so much about parenting and how it should work. You are wonderful parents and your girls are extremely lucky to have you guide them as they continue to grow up. You have also been very special friends…thank you for all you have done for us.

Ainsley, Emma, and Gabby-thank you so much for loving us and letting us love you. You are three very beautiful girls inside and out. You have brought us such joy and we have enjoyed getting to know you individually…and seeing your unique personalities develop. Thank you for helping us get ready to have a daughter of our own.

You were all undoubtedly sent by GOD….we love you!

While I am writing this, I am 11 weeks pregnant today. By the time you read this, I will be somewhere within the second trimester. There are so many little things I want to document about the first trimester, but none of them are ‘meaty’ enough to have a blog of their own. My solution? Create a list of random first trimester memories.

1. Morning sickness only comes at night….and just before bed. In fact, it can continue after I lie down. Luckily, it has only been mild nausea. (Although, after eating white chicken chili for dinner at 10w3d, I could not contain the nausea and it violently took over). That has been, and I hope will be, the only time sickness takes on it’s full meaning.

2. I have not had any food aversions, but the texture of chicken just doesn’t sit well with me. Hmm….maybe that is why the white chicken chili sent me over the edge…

3. Tomatoes, tomatoes, tomatoes – I cannot get enough. Let me be clear though, the regular old tomato you get at the grocery store doesn’t appeal to me. I want the fancy tomatoes you can get at The Market at Washington and High or the local Farmer’s Market. My favorite are the Black Arkansas variety. I was so sad when Mike at The Market told me they were no longer in season. What shall I do now? The craving has not ended.

4. Fatigue is my ever-present friend. It is what caused me to consider I might be pregnant to begin with…and what keeps me waiting for that glorious, energy-filled, second trimester to begin.

5. I was amazed at how early in pregnancy sleep becomes a problem, especially when you are so tired all the time. I would toss and turn, unable to get comfortable. I could FEEL my uterus growing and stretching. After some research, I decided to invest in a boppy body pillow. I say invest because those things are not cheap. But let me tell you….it was money well spent. Even Rob will tell you that since I have gotten that pillow, I fall asleep faster and sleep better than I did even before pregnancy. I think everyone should have one of these. They are simply wonderful!

6. All my reading lately has been about pregnancy. Unfortunately, my own mother is no longer around for me to discuss all that I am going through with her. I rely on books. I have stacks of pregnancy books. My favorite at the moment is The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine. It tells you things you don’t read in other popular pregnancy books…and it is so funny! Honestly though, I am starting to get sick of only reading about this one thing. I might have to find a book about something that has nothing at all to do with babies, since I know that once this little peanut is born there will be no time for reading.

7. I can (and have) spent hours at Babies R Us and in the baby department of Target. I need to get over to Baby Depot (part of Burlington Coat Factory). I love walking around looking at everything and trying to pre-register in my mind. I am amazed at how much stuff a baby needs. Wow! What is even more amazing is how expensive everything is….thank goodness for registries and baby showers. Though I love walking around mentally shopping, when I leave I find myself sad. It took me a while to figure out why. It is still too early for me to register (and there is still a risk that a registry won’t be needed at all). In addition, I am ready for this baby to be here…waiting 6 more months makes me sad. So, going into places and looking at all their baby gear just makes me realize that I still have a ways to go. But I know the next two trimesters will fly by just like this one has.

We couldn’t be happier and I don’t think we’ve stopped smiling since they told us. If you caught my post yesterday you might have caught I was hinting that I suspected this might be the case. We are truly elated and thank the good Lord that all signs look good so far. Next appointment (20 weeks) is where they do all kinds of fun measurements to check out how this little girl is doing. Thanks to everyone for the calls, texts, tweets, e-mails and comments. We truly appreciate your support and excitement – many, many thanks!

A common question lately has been regarding which gender we’d prefer. Our answer has been the same all along in that we don’t, we just want a healthy baby. We have, of course, been curious, subsequently trying various wives tales and “sure fire” determining techniques. Seems we have a pretty even split – it is 50/50 after all.

If you had asked me several years ago if I wanted a boy or a girl I would’ve resoundingly replied, “BOY!” It’s only natural I suppose – a boy means Boy Scouts, football, playing with trucks & cars, teaching the little guy to shoot, how to throw a baseball, the meaning of horsepower – appealing to all my interests and manly devices . I know what to do with a boy as after all, I was one!  However, that was before I met three very special little girls.

Hard to believe, but it was six years ago we met the Foca’s. Each of their three little girls is unique and incredible even in their youth – I am confident God’s plan for each of them will be awesome. I enjoy every moment I get to spend with them and it is perhaps through these moments that God has worked on me, diligently, on having a little girl of my own and perhaps settling my soul on having a baby. It’s my favorite moments though, with Emma – the  middle child – where she greets me with a hug launched by a furious run, jump and a burst of happiness and laughter. How can you not love that? She’s good at it too. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look forward to those quick moments often rearranging my schedule, coming back in town early or just showing up to church, lunch, dinner or an event when I just didn’t feel like it. Every one of those hugs was worth it. She has worked on me in other ways as well be it playing with dolls, playing horsey (staring your’s truly), playing with trains (my favorite), letting her explain a drawing, simply reading her a bedtime story, or tucking her in. She’s taught me that having a little girl is a pretty cool thing after all.

So as this chapter closes our dear friends are packing their boxes and heading off to a new opportunity in Virginia. While I am confident we will make every possible opportunity to spend with one another I realize that our time with them, and their wonderful girls, will become fewer and further between.

Perhaps tomorrow God will make the title of the next chapter with our own little family more evident. While I still maintain that I will be thrilled with either a boy or a girl, I am very thankful that there are three little girls that made sure I would be ready for either.

Author: Kristin

Our 12 week scan technically took place at 11 weeks, 3 days. Traditionally, it is during this visit that you have your first trimester screening, which is optional. During this ultrasound, they perform the nuchal translucency test. “The test focuses on a small, clear space in the tissue at the back of your growing baby’s neck called the nuchal fold. Experts have found that this spot tends to accumulate fluid and, as a result, expand in size in babies who have genetic abnormalities like Down syndrome (caused by an extra copy of chromosome 21, one of the 23 pairs of chromosomes that contain our genetic code), trisomy 18 (an extra copy of chromosome 18), and trisomy 13 (an extra number 13 chromosome).” (whattoexpect.com)

Of course I was interested in what they saw during the ultrasound (everything looked fine), but once the 3D picture appeared on the screen, all that went out the window. What I saw was simply stunning. I was breathless and awestruck. So much had changed since the ultrasound at 8 weeks. I could clearly see my baby’s rib cage, and his/her long arms and legs. But the most exciting part was seeing my little baby’s spine. On the screen, it looked like little white pearls on which my little one was resting. If someone had told me that I would feel such strong emotion when I saw those little pearls, I would never have believed them. They were the most precious and beautiful things I had ever seen.

We were also able to see the two hemispheres of the brain during the non-3D scan. When I stop to think about how far this child has come in development in just a few short weeks, I marvel at how it is all possible. There is no doubt in my mind that there is an all-powerful God in control. Everything is just too intricate and detailed to be designed merely by nature.

The countdown begins to the next ultrasound….I live for those moments I get to see this baby….and at this next ultrasound, we will find out if we will have a son or daughter.

When you are pregnant, you are acutely aware of anything that might cause harm to the pregnancy. Knowing that my mom had several miscarriages before me has made me overly cautious. When I found out I was pregnant, I was excited, but there was naturally an underlying worry of losing the baby. This fear came to a summit when I hit my 8 week mark.

Rob and I were enjoying the evening one Sunday while eating dinner out on our deck. It was peaceful and beautiful out. We remarked what wonderful weather we were having and how we wished we had more evenings like this throughout the year. We also reminded ourselves that this time next year, it won’t be so quiet when we eat outside because there will be a little one demanding our attention – but of course we welcome that and look forward to it.

At about 8:00pm, we got up and started bringing everything inside. Something didn’t feel quite right, so I excused myself to the restroom. When I saw the bright red blood and how much of it was there, I completely lost all control. I came out already sobbing and told Rob he needed to take me to the ER. He tried his best to be reassuring and comforting, but, in my mind, I had lost this child.

After a few frantic moments, he convinced me to call my doctor’s office. I got the after hour’s nurse and explained what was going on. Within 5 minutes, the doctor on call had called me back. I was sobbing so hysterically that Rob tried his best to take the call and explain what was going on. Unfortunately, the doctor couldn’t get enough information from him and I was put on the phone. Between sobs and gasps of air, the doctor told me that I had two options: 1. I could wait until the next day and they could work me in, or 2. I could go to the ER. Knowing that I would not be able to rest until I knew for sure what had happened, Rob and I got in the truck and headed for Park West.

We arrived just after 8:30pm. I was dismayed to see that the waiting room was so full. I thought that because I was pregnant and the blood was more than I should have, I might get priority placement and be taken back sooner. I was wrong. We spent the next 2 hours waiting in that waiting room. As if the wait wasn’t torturous enough, there happened to be a really cute baby girl in the waiting room too. Why I am drawn toward creating more misery for myself, I have no idea, but I could not stop watching her. She was an example of what I might have lost that evening. Her coos and cries broke my heart and made fresh tears flow constantly. It was so bad, that an older man sitting across from us got up to get me some tissues. I must have looked pretty pitiful.

We were finally taken back to a room around 10:45pm. We were both physically and emotionally exhausted at this point. The doctor came in and explained that I would have two ultrasounds done (one intravaginal and the other on my belly). I would also have some blood drawn and urine taken. After all the tests came back, he would come back in to discuss the results with us. Great – more waiting.

When the ultrasound technician came in, she was very aloof and not at all comforting. When she started the ultrasound, she kept the machine turned away from our view. I tried to explain to her that this was our first ultrasound and I asked her to turn the machine so we could see our baby. She declined. I was furious, but tried to hide my anger the best I could. I understand that she wasn’t sure what would show up and she didn’t want to cause us more pain than we were already experiencing. I really get that. But at that moment, I wanted to yell at her that it was MY CHILD and I have a RIGHT to see the ultrasound. Deep breaths….I get all worked up just thinking about it.

My frustration wasn’t meant to last for long. During the second ultrasound, she apparently saw what she needed to see and decided it was time we got to see too. She turned the machine around and my eyes immediately fell on the heartbeat of our little one. Only after I noticed the heartbeat did I notice the rest of the baby. It took Rob a few moments before he could see the heartbeat. That technician even let us hear the heartbeat for a few seconds. Bless her! I now knew that my baby was alive and had a heartbeat. That is all I needed to feel relief.

Around 1:30am, the doctor came into the room and discussed the results of the scan. He had been waiting on all the bloodwork to come back, but decided that since it was so late, he should let us go home. For all he knew, it could be another hour before my HCG levels were reported. So what did the doctor say? He said I had what is called a subchorionic hemorrhage. He explained that I have a blood clot between the placenta and uterine wall. If the clot were to release itself, it could cause the placenta to detach and result in instant death of the fetus. That was one possible outcome. He also said that it could bleed itself out or my body could just absorb it. Both of these would be preferable because it would mean my body would have healed and the pregnancy would be safe. As of that moment, I was not considered to have a ‘threatened pregnancy’. That relief I had been feeling just a while ago had now vanished. Luckily, I had my first prenatal visit scheduled for the following Tuesday afternoon, so the doctor ordered me to go on bedrest and follow up with my doctor.

As soon as we got home, I logged in and requested a sub for Monday. I sent a quick email to a colleague requesting her help with the sub since I would not be able to come in and create sub plans. It was around 2:30am when Rob and I finally went to bed.

The next morning, Rob went into work a little later than usual and I spent the day snuggled on the couch watching TV with Bear. I cannot tell you how incredibly lucky I was to have him with me that weekend/week. Bear stayed right by my side and was more attentive than usual. I think he sensed that I needed his comfort that day. It’s completely amazing to me how animals seem to know when something isn’t right and they provide all the love and affection they can just when you need it most.

Tuesday’s appointment could not come fast enough. After another two ultrasounds (we got pictures this time!), we were told that there was no longer any hematoma present. I could not believe that it had vanished that fast. I kept asking, “Are you sure it’s gone?” They smiled as they assured me that they could not find any evidence on either scan. On the contrary, everything looked great. Whew! Another bullet dodged. Here’s praying for a healthy pregnancy for the remainder of this journey! Lord, please keep this baby safe!

The Sunday in late July that I should have gotten my period came and went with no arrival….Monday came and still nothing. On Tuesday, I began to really wonder if we could be pregnant.

With the late period also came some waves of fatigue and some headaches…no nausea or any other signs. So, with just a nagging feeling (ok – an anxious energy), I finally took the test on Wednesday afternoon (August 3rd). I half expected that it would be negative, but within the first minute of waiting, the second line appeared. Excited is an understatement. When we initially started this journey, I considered all the fun ways I would tell Rob when I found out. Every idea and plan went out the window. Immediately, I ran downstairs with my hand over my huge smile and announced that we were pregnant. His response? He was in shock at first and couldn’t believe it. With a smile on his face he asked “Really?” Once it set in, elation filled our home.

I had decided to do a thorough cleaning of the house that morning before going back to work the following week. It was also a means to distract me since all I could think about was whether or not I could be pregnant. I would have taken the test sooner, but Rob was encouraging me to wait until we came back from our weekend trip to Chattanooga. Clearly, I am not a patient person. Very soon after our little celebration I called my OBGYN and shared the news. My first untrasound was set for August 30th (which happens to be my brother-in-laws birthday whom is currently serving in Afghanistan). As soon as I could, I showered and took myself down to McKay’s and bought two books: What to Expect When You’re Expecting and The Pregnancy Bible. The reading ensues…..

Kristin and I are thrilled to announce that we are pregnant!!! After 7 plus years of marriage, we are very excited about our first young ‘un!

I think we can both say this has been a very surreal experience – well, maybe more for me as my body isn’t changing – yet! I think I’ve done a good job of not trying to keep up with Kristin at the dinner table or snack time AND I’m maintaining my gym routine, so we’ll see. However, we can see the beginnings of a “baby bump” and Kristin keeps me regularly updated with all applicable changes and baby developments. Seems they measure the size of the child by using fruit as a comparison – blueberry, blackberry, avocado….it would be very helpful if there was a “man scale” for those of us with the Y chromosome – i.e. the child is the size of a golf ball, baseball, softball, football, etc.

At the time of this post Kristin is 13 weeks along. The picture above is the 11 week 3D ultrasound – amazing what you can see these days. Kristin has been sleeping a lot, eating a lot and then sleeping some more. All reports from the doc are great – so far so good.

Kristin and I will be using this site to update our progress, thoughts, fears, funny jokes and other ramblings, so stay tuned!!! ETA of this little one is April 8th, 2011.

There are many reasons we waiting until we were 10 weeks before we told Rob’s parents. First and foremost was our initial scare and the worry that we might not make it through the first trimester successfully. We did not want to tell them, just to turn around and ‘untell’ them. Our own heartbreak would be enough to deal with.

At 10 weeks, we felt it was time. We definitely wanted them to know before we told everyone else, and with the end of the first trimester approaching, we were running out if time. We decided that at our next visit, we would reveal our secret. Making a special trip would have tipped them off.

Of course we discussed all the ways that we could tell them they were going to be grandparents. At one point, Rob had the idea that we would make cupcakes that spelled out grandparents. I liked this idea, but I couldn’t seem to figure out the logistics. I would not have time prior to the trip to make them….and how would we keep that many cupcakes covered in the correct formation before we were ready to reveal them? So…we came up with another plan.

Rob had come across this cute maternity t-shirt online that had a row of knobs across the chest area and an oven with a bun in it across the belly. We both really liked it and decided that we would use that in our reveal. When we went to order it, however, it could not be found. We still really liked the t-shirt idea so we kept looking.

Rob calls this baby ‘peanut’, so when we came across a shirt that read “Roasting My ‘Lil Peanut”, we knew that was it. After coming home from work Friday, I changed into my outfit and put a light black fleece over the shirt. We didn’t want them to see the shirt right away, so we had to cover it up.

Once we arrived, we were greeted at the door and spent a few minutes catching up before going inside. They had already had dinner earlier, but said there was pizza waiting on us. As we stood in the kitchen, mom kept saying we needed to eat. We knew we wanted to tell them shortly after we arrived – and before we ate, but the right time hadn’t presented itself…so we stalled. More conversation ensued and mom kept reminding us that we needed to sit down and eat something. It was now or never.

Rob started off by telling them that there was something we needed to tell them, but were not ready to tell anyone else yet. His mom let out an audible gasp. Before she could figure it out, he quickly started leading her down another road of thinking. He told them that he had been in his current position for about 8 months now and that it had offered many opportunities for us. At this point, his mom began to think we were moving further away. He started talking about how another opportunity had presented itself and we felt we had to take it. At that point, he looked at me and I unzipped my fleece. The both turned to look at me with confused expressions on their face…like, ‘why did he stop talking so she could take her jacket off?’

Once unzipped, I opened the fleece to reveal the words and a picture of a peanut. His mom kept reading the shirt, still not sure what it meant. His dad, on the other hand, got it right away. He looked at me and asked, “Are you pregnant?” With a big smile, we said, “Yes!” They were thrilled and beyond words. Once it started to sink in, they started asking questions like….how far are you? When did you find out? Why did you wait so long to tell us?

Now, I should mention that the week prior to our visit, I got a very interesting call from Rob’s mom. She called asking if I was ok. She said that I had been placed on her heart and she had been praying for me. When she called, it was really unnerving. It is almost as if she already knew. I told Rob about it and he agreed it was really weird. After she found out, she admitted that she thought that might have been why God was having her pray for me, but decided after we spoke that it must have been something else.

I should also mention that I attended a baby shower with his mom the next day…one that she threw with several of her closest friends. They call themselves the Ya-Yas. She had to go through the whole event without telling or hinting toward anyone that she was going to be a grandmother. She did amazingly well….but asked us to tell her the moment she is allowed to spread the news.

Before we left, they had already decided on what they want to be called. Mom wants to be called Gran and Dad wants to be called Pappy. Of course, they might change their minds in the next 6 months or so….or our little one just might come up with names all on his/her own.

Regardless of what they are called, they will be called the best grandparents ever. I am so happy that my child will have such a wonderful set of grandparents. I only wish that my own mom and dad were around to meet him/her too.

When I got my first smart phone I learned quickly to turn the notifications off as with every chime for e-mail I was salivating like Pavlov’s dog to see what or who it was. So my Droid gives me three noises; it rings when I get a call, it chimes for a voicemail and it vibrates for a text – that’s it. It still gives me blinky light notifications for everything else which if I could find a way to turn off, I would.

What I’m finding is that first of all, I take this phone everywhere with me. It sleeps next to me at night, it goes with me to meetings, church, family functions, the bathroom….it goes everywhere. While it is an easy source of entertainment it also keeps me connected, almost too connected. I have nothing against social technologies and the tools we use to access them but at the same time I somewhat crave the times years ago when I was unavailable because I wasn’t next to a computer or a phone. When I could get away and actually think because I wasn’t distracted by this blinky light, a call, a text….of course, now I’m just as distracted at my computer as I have at least 6 different windows/programs open at all times. So I wonder if I ever have a complete thought anymore. Actually Microsoft’s Windows Phone 7 ads at first were pretty funny to me until I realized how guilty I was of this same type of behavior. It was a, “ha! yeah OTHER people do that” kind of reaction and then I realized, “oh crap, that’s me!!!”

Several months ago I joined a gym. They, like most gyms, have a “no cell phones in the locker room” policy. Good policy. Of course, I kinda wonder if they didn’t have that policy if some of the guys would be a little quicker in getting dressed…but I digress. As a result of this I made a conscious effort to turn my phone off and leave it in the truck while I worked out. That gave me about an hour to an hour and a half of uninterrupted time to workout and subsequently to think. IT’S WONDERFUL. It’s amazing what you can work out in your head while on the elliptical or lifting weights while rocking out to Led Zeppelin. Maybe it’s the extra blood flow to my noggin or more likely it’s because I’m actually focused. I’ve stuck with this routine but what I’ve discovered is how quick I am to turn that phone back on when I get to the truck often not leaving the parking lot until I’ve checked my e-mail, texts, twitter responses, etc. As I stand back and think about that for a moment, it almost seems a little sick. Why do I feel the need to be that connected?

While these social technologies are wonderful and we should be involved in them I often wonder if I need to set better boundaries for myself. However, that’s sometimes hard when, being in I.T., system notifications come to my phone. So to a degree I feel obligated to keep an eye on it but I seem to forget that I’m not the only person getting alerts. Also, as a culture it would seem that not only are we increasingly drawn to these devices/services but that the distinction between life and work continues to blur which has it’s advantages and disadvantages. However, I have found that I begin to crave that hour and a half at the gym not only for it’s physical benefits but it’s mental benefits as well as I think I have given myself a valid excuse to disconnect. Then again, I’m like an addict when I get the phone back in my hands. What gives?

The balance in this area seems to be a gray one where many of us struggle – or maybe I’m alone. Do you have any ground rules or thoughts to share on this? If so, please do in the comments below.